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We all give on occasion. Sometimes we recognize an unexpected opportunity and we give joyously. Other times, we feel uncomfortably coerced into giving up some of our time or belongings.

This has been a period of “giving” opportunities for me. In some instances, I’ve felt pressured to give and in others, I’ve felt moved to do so.

I learned the joy of giving very early in life. It is still a high for me when I offer something from the heart and it brings a smile to someone’s face. The simple phrase, “thank you” is music to my ears. But I have also discovered, with time, that one must establish a balance between giving and withholding. During the first few months of this year, maintaining this balance has been a challenge.

Because I’m constantly putting myself out there, freelance writers and authors have no trouble finding me. Some email me through the SPAWN Web site and others locate me through my Web site, my writing-related books or as a result of one of my workshops or articles. Most of them want my help. Some of them want a resource recommendation, others want information or guidance and still others are seeking financial help. I respond to them all.

Just as I can’t “not write,” I can’t seem to avoid responding to freelance writers and hopeful authors. Sometimes I get a “thanks” in return and sometimes not. Sometimes, the author wants to argue with me or pick my brain beyond what I believe is a fair limit. Occasionally, they seem to feel that I don’t give enough. I guess it’s all relative.

A friend of mine experienced a disturbing incident in a local yarn shop this week. Marilyn walked in with her knitting project and asked for a little help. The owner said, “I can see that you bought your materials elsewhere, so that will cost you $8.00.”

While it is certainly important for professionals to set limits, they must be realistic. In my opinion, this proprietor turned down a wonderful opportunity. She chose quick money instead of a chance to develop a happy new customer. And she lost all the way around. My friend did not pay for her services and she will not be back.

And then there is the other end of the spectrum—this is where balance comes in. When do you stop giving? I’ve learned to speak up when a particularly needy writer, after four or five detailed emails back and forth, wants even more from me. Some of these folks, when I say that I have given all that I can and that I will have to charge for additional time, leave in a huff. Some promise never to bother me again! It’s no bother, people. It’s just that this is how I make my living—and I can do only so much work for free.

These past few weeks, I’ve had a real variety of emails to answer and decisions to make. One gentleman wants me to read his 75,000-word manuscript out of the goodness of my heart because his book is that good and I will surely want to become a publishing partner. I spent about 30 minutes discussing publishing options with him and trying to steer him in a direction that would likely benefit his project.

Another man contacted me about a book that is “so unique that it will sell itself.” All he needs is financial backing. When I found out that he knew nothing about the publishing industry, I spent nearly an hour with him attempting to educate him and help him to engage in further educational opportunities.

A woman emailed me to ask a whole list of questions, only some of which I could answer off the top of my head. I responded to those that I could and provided resources for the others.

Another woman called me asking for help in writing a memoir. If I go along with what she wants, I could make around $100,000. But, when we meet next week, I will advise her that this is not a viable project. If she really wants the book written, I will suggest that she write it just for family and friends. I can help her with the organization and editing of the book, if she wants. She’ll have her book and she will have saved about $99,000.

I met with a lovely trio of women this week who hired me to help them promote a local history book which they spent eight years producing from an old manuscript that a husband wrote before his death. I’m convinced that I can save them the money that they planned to spend on advertising while helping them to focus on promotional efforts that will actually result in sales. And so I hired on.

I also met recently with a mentally handicapped poet I’ve known for years. She teaches poetry at a mental health facility and takes her teaching and her poetry very seriously. Every once in a while she talks to me about publishing her poetry. The closest she has come to this on her own is to type up copies of her poetry (yes on a typewriter) and put them in manila folders. She sells these as books.

Recently, she spent a few months saving up money until she could afford a consulting session with me. (Of course, I gave her a discount.) Again, she discussed someday having her poetry published in a real book. When I got home, I decided to publish her book of poetry. I will ask her if she would like to give $25 toward the project and then I will do the rest. I’ll prepare the pages, create a cover (hopefully from her own artwork) and have 25 or 30 books comb-bound for her. I hope she is as thrilled as I am to be able to offer her this gift.

While the reason that I work with clients is to earn a living doing something I enjoy, I certainly do some giving along the way, as well. My clients may not even know it, but I will sometimes go off the clock to discuss something with them or respond to a question. My clients are a gift to me and I often find ways to give back.

Of course, this blog is also one of my gifts—it’s free for anyone who wants to take the time to learn and to grow as a writer or an author. Some of my most valuable altruistic efforts come in book form. Be sure to order your copy of The Right Way to Write, Publish and Sell Your Book. Check out all of my other books at my Web site. http://www.matilijapress.com Contact me at plfry620@yahoo.com

I’ve discovered over the years that writing is more than just a hobby or a craft. In fact, it has become my mode of earning a living, my passion, a way to gain credibility in my field and my favorite promotional outlet. But it is so much more. Writing has brought me some fabulous opportunities.

I’ve discovered that unusual, and often marvelous, things happen when I put myself out there through my writing.

1: I meet interesting people. Both in person and over the Internet, I’ve met many high profile movers and shakers in the world of independent publishing as well as some extremely talented and successful authors. One can never have too many friends and business associates. Personal and professional connections are vital to establishing a successful writing/publishing career.

2: I get some lucrative writing assignments. After writing articles for The Toastmaster Magazine for about six or seven years, they rewarded my loyalty and reliability with a new job offer. For a tidy sum, I rewrote several of their member manuals.

We complain when we find our articles or stories posted on the Internet. But wait, sometimes this can be a good thing. A member of a school district in Arkansas saw my article, “The Rewards of Exercise” on the Internet and contacted me for permission to make 1,000 copies to distribute at an upcoming event. Next, he wanted to know how much I would charge him to do this. I suggested $1,000. He agreed, without hesitation.

Here’s a bit of that article’s history: I had already sold first rights for $300. Later, another organization came along and purchased reprint rights for $350. When I wrote that article, I knew it was a good one, so I am pleased that it has earned $1,650 so far.

See this article posted at my Web site: http://www.matilijapress.com/articles/rewardsofexercise.htm

3: I receive interesting invitations. Last year, Scott Flora, Executive Director of SPAN noticed my byline on writing and publishing-related articles in a multitude of magazines and ezines such as: Writer’s Digest, Writers World, Writer’s Weekly, SPAWNews, PMA Independent, Fiction Factor, Dabbling Mum, Author Me, RJ Publications, Book Promotion Newsletter and so forth. He figured that I had something of value to say, so he invited me to be the lead speaker at their annual marketing conference in San Francisco that fall.

Last year, something really remarkable happened to me and this, too, was a result of my writing. Because I’m known as a regular contributor for The Toastmaster Magazine, I’ve been invited to many Toastmasters events as a speaker or a workshop leader. Toastmasters is an international organization. And it was because of my writing history with this magazine that I traveled, all expenses paid, to Dubai—yes, in the Middle East—where I was the first woman ever to present a keynote speech before 800 people at their annual Toastmasters convention.

4: I attract some fascinating clients. A few years ago, I conducted a publishing workshop for a group of home-schooled students as a SPAWN project. (That’s Small Publishers, Artists and Writers Network) http://www.spawn.org We actually produced a perfect-bound book of the students’ work—a book that they also designed. The local publicity for this volunteer project, landed me two wonderful new clients.

A search for people to interview for an article on learning public speaking when English is your second language, resulted in my meeting a lovely woman living in Florida. She just happened to be finishing up a book and needed some help. I am currently editing her book.

5: I do a lot of networking. This is a marvelous practice for anyone who needs people. And don’t all authors and editorial consultants need people? I make important connections anytime I attend a gathering of writers/authors/publishers. It is through networking that I discover new writing organizations, potential clients and customers, new distribution programs and conferences where I can present workshops.

6: I stay connected. I don’t consider any of my customers to be former customers. They are all current customers who, if ever they need a question answered or a few words of support, I’m there to offer it up. Twice a year or so, I contact my customers to ask how they’re doing with their writing or publishing projects. Not only is it enjoyable to get to know some of these talented writers, it is a pleasure to help them. And some of them will hire me to help them move their project forward in some manner. Sometimes they need an editor or help writing a book proposal. Maybe they need counseling with regard to their marketing plan. As you can see, some of my good customers also become treasured clients.

Writing is not just about writing what you wish at a particular moment in time. It’s not only about developing characters and writing clear instructions. If you aspire to earn a living as a freelance writer or succeed as a published author, keep putting yourself out there in a positive, professional way. Become active in your field or genre. Seek constant exposure in the ways I’ve mentioned above. And you, too, will experience greater success and some marvelous opportunities.

The Right Way to Write, Publish and Sell Your Book is continuing to help authors wade their way through the myriad of options available today. Authors contact me every week to tell me how much more well-prepared they were when it came time to enter into the world of publishing only AFTER reading this book. Purchase your copy today at: http://www.matilijapress.com/rightway.htm And contact me with your questions and concerns at plfry620@yahoo.com

I knew the day would come when I am too busy to add to my blog and too scattered to be able to pull together a cohesive message. Yet it has been weeks since I have posted something and I feel that I must. I guess that’s coming from two things: my tremendous sense of responsibility and my overbearing and ongoing desire to communicate.

So what is keeping me so busy? I’m writing the monthly SPAWN Market Update for the member area of the SPAWN Web site. I am also teaching an 8-week online self-publishing class. Each Tuesday morning, I send students a new lecture and assignment. I just completed the editing on a manuscript for a new client. The day that I finished it, another client sent me her manuscript for a second look-over. My book promotion column for SPAWNews is due soon. And it’s tax time, you know. I’ve been adding and subtracting figures related to my business over the last few days.

On Saturday, I drove two hours to Orange County where I spoke at a writers’ group luncheon. What an absolute delight. Everyone was so nice and so inspired and excited about their craft. It was a great day. Sunday, I sent personal thank yous to all 35 (or so) people I met at the event. That’s also the day I started working on the SPAWN Market Update. It is quite a project. I generally try to provide around 11 pages of information, opportunities, industry news and resources for freelance writers and authors. This means conducting a lot of research.

I often receive emails from colleagues wanting me to respond to someone who contacted them or from individuals who discovered my Web site or the SPAWN site. Over the last few days, I’ve received two such emails requesting benefit of my experience. A grandmother wrote asking how to go about publishing a stream of consciousness poem she wrote reflecting her near-death experience. She wanted to produce it as a children’s book, but I think it is a bit deep and heavy to be promoted as such. Her idea was to buy a blank journal book, write the words on one page and have her illustrator do some drawings on the opposite page. Then she would present this to a publisher.

I spent a good 30 minutes counseling her.

Then I received an email from a woman who mentors a teen who is an amazing poet. She wanted guidance in how to share her poetry with others. The girl wants to help other teens who feel as she does. My response to the mentor and the young poet took a lot of thought and time. I just hope that the people for whom I spend this time actually benefit from what I offer.

The trick is to speak at their level of understanding about the publishing industry and to offer suggestions that aren’t too far out of their grasp. It’s a matter of teaching without overwhelming.

Sunday, I awoke to a black monitor. Yes, overnight, my computer monitor died. It had a one-year warranty and we bought it one year and 5 days earlier. I am actually glad to have this new monitor—it is really sharp!!

So that is my life in a nutshell. I always enjoy hearing from those of you who find and read my blog. I’ve closed my blog to comments because of the tremendous number of spam coming in. Even with the comments feature off, I still get lots of spam. I deleted 93 spam comments this morning from my blog. Those of you who are legitimately reading my blog can contact me directly at plfry620@yahoo.com.

Last weekend, I participated in the 23rd San Diego State University Writers Conference as a presenter. I taught three classes related to freelance magazine article writing. There were around 500 attendees and 67 leaders including self-publishing guru, Dan Poynter; award-winning poet and editor of ONTHEBUS, Jack Grapes; publicist, Milton Kahn; Jonathan Eskenas, president of Orly Adelson Productions (a leading television and film production company) as well as numerous literary agents and editors straight from New York publishing houses such as William Morrow, Viking Penguin, John Wiley and Random House. Yes, it was a big deal and it was a well-organized, smoothly-running, extremely rich conference.

Not only were attendees offered choices from over 80 classes throughout the weekend and numerous opportunities to network, they could meet with agents and editors one-on-one and pitch their book manuscripts. I’m sure there were some deals made as a result of these meetings. And there were many other opportunities as well—some that the attending writers and authors didn’t even notice. And this is true at any conference. Next time you attend a writers’ conference get full benefit of the offerings by considering the following:

1: Participate, participate, participate. I am always surprised at the writers who pay the fee and then spend their mornings sleeping in and their evenings touring the city. Get the most out of your conference by showing up at all events. Take advantage of every opportunity because you just never know where, when or from whom that priceless gem of information will come.

2: Purchase pertinent CDs. Some conference organizers arrange for every session to be recorded. This means that if there are eight sessions held every hour, you can receive benefit of five of them, if you wish. Attend one and purchase the other four on CDs.

3: Purchase books by some of the leaders and learn volumes more about their topics. Most conferences run alongside book fairs. Some organizers commission bookstores to come in and sell writing/publishing-related books—including those produced by the lecturers and presenters.

4: Take advantage of the free (or even fee-based) meetings with agents and editors and truly listen to what they say. If they don’t issue you a contract on the spot—if they seem less than thrilled about your manuscript—don’t rush off in a huff or go hide and lick your wounds. Listen carefully. If the editor or agent tells you that you have a good topic, but your manuscript needs professional editing, start looking for a good editor. If they say, “Your characters need more depth,” take a class in character development and read books and articles on the subject. A criticism isn’t necessarily a death sentence for your manuscript. But it could be if you don’t heed good advice.

5: Ask your burning questions. If your question isn’t covered throughout the talk, take advantage of the Q and A session. If there isn’t time or you are overlooked, stop the leader after the lecture and ask if this is a good time to discuss the issue. If not, ask when it would be. Sit at his or her table at lunch, if possible. Ask for his or her business card and, with permission, contact them via email after the conference.

6: Network with attendees as well as leaders. Everyone has had experiences different from yours and some may know of resources that you’re not aware of. Listen and learn. Likewise, share what you have experienced and what you know if you believe it will benefit a fellow writer.

7: Even if you don’t feel that you have “arrived” as a writer or an author, carry business cards and hand them out freely. If you have already been published, carry bookmarks or postcards (nothing larger) representing your book. Hand them out. Leave them in strategic places for others to discover—the restrooms, for example.

8: Talk about your book or your book-in-progress every chance you get. This is not to suggest that you bore everyone at your table throughout the entire networking or lunch time talking about your story. Use common sense and etiquette while taking every opportunity to mention your project. And remember, others will more readily honor your promotional spiel if you’ve paid attention to theirs.

9: Welcome a challenge. If your topic is a little (or a lot) controversial, be prepared for an occasional debate. While at the conference, I observed a rather emotional debate between a Ph.D. with a book featuring how to discipline your children without spanking and a mother of eight who believes in spanking. The result: she stomped back to her seat and he got up and quickly left the room. How unfortunate that the author couldn’t discuss his book without emotion. This was actually a wonderful opportunity for him. This mom’s viewpoint would make a great anecdote for his book. And he could have learned volumes about how to debate the issues. Certainly, he will need this skill when he starts pitching it to publishers and promoting it to readers.

Writers’ conferences provide many lessons, enormous amounts of information and advice that you would normally pay dearly for. You might as well get the most out of those you attend by following these nine suggestions.

To learn more about locating and attending writers’ conferences and to find out how to write the right book for the right audience, order The Right Way to Write, Publish and Sell Your Book now. http://www.matilijapress.com/rightway.html

Do you know enough about the publishing industry? Are you aware of your publishing choices and the possible consequences of your decisions? Do you have a platform? Do you even know what that means? Are you familiar with the parts of a book proposal? Are you prepared to promote your book? If you answered “no” to even one of these questions, you aren’t ready to even think about writing a book. In fact, I wrote my book for you. Read The Right Way to Write, Publish and Sell Your Book and you will experience greater success as a published author. http://www.matilijapress.com/rightway.html. Contact me at plfry620@yahoo.com