Sophie’s and Lily’s Cat Survival Tips for after the holidays
1: Stay close to your person—underfoot if necessary and definitely on her lap or at least her feet, to remind her not to leave again or never to bring a bunch of people into the house.
2: Ask for food even before you’re hungry. Remember how she left you with only kibbles for all those hours to shop and visit people over the last few weeks?
3: Hide her cell phone so she’ll spend more time talking to you. It’s easy, just push it into a crevice in the sofa or if you find it on the counter, pull the dishtowel over it so she can’t see it. If her purse isn’t too heavy, carry it into the closet or some other great hiding place.
4: If she picks up her purse and starts to leave, try to stop her. If your stare doesn’t make her change her mind about going out, wind yourself around her ankles to let her know how much you need her. If she falls, oh well, then she won’t feel like going out will she?
5: Give her a lot of help. She might be busy today picking up gift wrap, cleaning around the house, and moving things from one room to another. If you want her attention, you need to help her. You can tear the paper in small pieces for her, make sure she has lots of kitty-cat company in the kitchen, lead her into and out of the rooms and up and down the hallway while she’s carrying heavy boxes. Speaking of wrapping: if you get under the tissue and inside the boxes, this will make her laugh and a happy person is one that will pet you and scratch you behind the ears.
No go on, fellow cats and make this the best day of the week.