Life continues to cycle and we are experiencing the joy of children again. It struck me recently how differently we approach children with each generation. I started my family at a very young age and was a pretty na\u00efve mother. There\u2019s nothing like the reality of parenthood, however, to help in the maturity process. I had gained a measure of wisdom by the time my grandchildren came along. And my approach to grandparenting was a bit more progressive in a sort of thought-provoking way. I guess I\u2019d say that as a parent, I was more of a leader\/manager. As a grandparent, I became a mentor and a playmate. <\/p>\n
My children are middle-aged, my grandchildren are young adults and there is a brand new generation of small children in our lives. It has occurred to me that, at this stage in my life, I realize the importance of fostering the ability to process thoughts as well as to develop coping skills. <\/p>\n
Oh what a complex subject. I guess the main gift we want to give any of our offspring, no matter how many generations this involves, is the freedom to grow and develop into the best individual that one can be. <\/p>\n
Most of us look at our books as our children\u2014as a reflection of ourselves. Our books might reflect our passions in life, they might share secrets, attempt to teach a concept or a skill, provide pure entertainment or be designed to guide people who have lost their way. <\/p>\n
Your book is the result of intense work and multitudes of hours spend writing and researching. It contains your blood, sweat and tears. And it comes with tremendous responsibility. Gosh, building a book does sound a lot like raising a child.<\/p>\n
If you doubt your attachment to your book project, just ask a really critical person to critique it and see how it makes you feel. Even the most level-headed, together author will experience some pain when their book is judged even slightly negative.<\/p>\n
And when this happens, any reasonable author will take note of the comments, evaluate them and make appropriate use of them. You can\u2019t be a published author and expect never to have anyone counter your ideas or your way of presenting them. Anytime you put yourself out there, as an author, a freelance writer, a performer, etc., you are opening yourself up to criticism. <\/p>\n
How are you dealing with it in your life? Have you adopted a coat of armor? Can you weed through the constructive, useful criticism and disregard that which is mean-spirited or otherwise of no value. I had an incident occur just this week\u2014maybe it has happened to some of you. A friend (who remains a friend) read Catscapades, True Cat Tales <\/em><\/strong>and reported back to me that she found a typo. Ooops! Now that\u2019s something I want to make note of for when I go into the next printing. But guess what? She doesn\u2019t remember where she saw it. <\/p>\n Folks, if you are going to offer critique to a fellow author, do so in a helpful way. None of us wants to be told that there is a mistake somewhere in our writing. That information is not useful by itself. It makes one think that the critic is attempting to play a game of one-upmanship with you. <\/p>\n Here\u2019s another truth in publishing. Authors tend to hear the criticism LOUD and CLEAR even though there were some complimentary statements made alongside the critique. Do you notice yourself hearing the negative above the positive comments? Why do we do this?<\/p>\n This same friend told me how much she is enjoying the cat book. She said she was reading it over lunch in a restaurant one afternoon and she is sure that the people around her thought she was crazy because she found herself laughing out loud and she even shed a few tears. Now that\u2019s a compliment. And that\u2019s what I\u2019m going to focus on\u2014that is, until she remembers where that typo is.<\/p>\n How about you? What are you focusing on this week? The positive or the negative?<\/p>\n